Birthday

Well, today is my birthday. I can't say it's a day I was really excited about, but I can't say I dreaded turning another year older either.

This morning when I woke up, it hit me. I wasn't sure what at first, but something was bothering me. Was it that I was turning another year older?....No, definitley not. Was it that I was hoping to get a spectacular present and didn't?....No, my presents were just fine. Well, after 45 minutes of pondering these questions during Spin class, I knew why I was so bothered. I hadn't expected any certain gift or a party or any sort of surprise.... It hit me that when our newest baby girl had her first birthday, I wasn't there to do any of those things for her. You see, my babies' birthdays are a big deal in our house. It is their special day, and we celebrate the fact that I feel so lucky God chose me to be their mommy. They are each so wonderful and unique!

Now, this may seem a bit heroic on part, and it wasn't, but the only thing that I knew would make me feel any better would be to run in a race that I knew was beginning in a half an hour. So, with my husband pushing us out the door, we drove to the race straight from our Spin class. The race, called Come Unity, was held at a local college not far from our house. All proceeds went toward building wells in Africa or other child sponsorship and family-centered programs. It was founded by a woman who grew up in my home town, visited Kenya, then knew she couldn't walk away and forget the people she'd met.

I told my husband that I was not running this race to achieve a personal record, which I usually am. (Guess I'm a little competitive.) Instead, I was running it at a comfortable pace so that I could think about the real reason I was running.

For example, women in Africa have to walk an average of 6 km (about 3.75 mi.) daily to gather drinking water for their family. Notice that I didn't say the word "clean" because it is not. It is full of silt, dirt and bacteria, but it is all they have.

I hope that I in some way honored my baby girl's birthday by running with her heavy on my heart on my birthday. We can't wait to bring you home, baby girl!

Referral Day!!!!!!!!

I am still slightly in shock as I write this post, although we received the call that changed our lives two days ago.

To set the scene, April 19th was a gloomy, rainy Tuesday. I had high hopes for the day because at dinner the night before, my family talked about the next day being Grandpa Al's birthday. Now, Grandpa Al never got to meet our sweet, little Piper because he passed away suddenly one month before she was born. He had always wanted a granddaughter, and he never even got to see her gorgeous face. We thought, "Wouldn't it be sweet if we got our referral call on his birthday?" It would be like he was up in heaven helping to pick out the next baby girl for our family.

After about 3 PM, I pretty much figured we wouldn't get the call....but to my dismay, I got a call from Bob at 4:30 PM asking if I'd checked my voice mail. Apparently, he had received a call from our coordinator, but hadn't answered in time. She asked us to call her back. Looking at the time, and knowing the office closed at 5 PM, I frantically hung up the phone and went through my contacts list to find her number. I called...and called... and called...about 4 times within 10 minutes. No answer. The last time I called, I was surprised that she did answer and was loading my kids in the car at my mom's house. Once I got them buckled, I walked away from the car, stood in the rain, and finally heard the words we've been waiting for. "Courtney, we have a referral of a baby girl for you." Those words changed my day, my life, my family.

Although I was crying steadily, I caught most of what our coordinator said. We went straight home to meet Bob, who had already brought the laptop upstairs, and crowded around the computer to see her face for the first time. A happy, smiling face stared back at us! For more reasons than I can explain here, we new immediately she was chosen specifically for us. We can not wait for the day that we can officially call her one of our family. Sweet Baby "A", we're coming for you!!

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;

my hope comes from Him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

He is my fortress, I will not be shaken...

Trust in Him at all times, O people;

pour out your hearts to him,

For God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:5-8

One year ago today...

One year ago today, I drove to the post office to mail our international adoption application to our agency. One year ago today.....my life changed enormously. Back then I don't even think I realized how strongly God was speaking to me about the course my life was meant to take. What an eye-opener I have had over the course of this past year.

Walking along this path toward our future daughter has been anything but easy. With my biological children, my husband and I made plans, and luckily for us, they coincided with God's plans for our family. It was easy. Now, I have three beautiful, wonderfully unique children who have each taught me so much. I can not imagine what my life would be like without them. They are my life. That being said, I've come to the understanding that His plan for our family was not complete when we had two boys and one girl.

Now that we have stepped out in faith to begin this journey, the hole in my heart has become so screaming obvious. In some ways, this year has gone by so fast. In other ways, it doesn't seem like we've moved very far on our journey, and the hole in my heart is aching. Well, one thing has changed for sure. I now understand that God has a definitive plan for our family, and I am at peace with that. I was not at peace with that in the beginning. I had a timeline in my mind, and I sure hoped life followed suit. Well, it didn't. We have had road bumps, delays, changes, but the one thing that has never changed is my commitment to bringing our future daughter home.

For a while, I really struggled with the fact that the timeline I had hoped for was not being followed. The smooth road ahead of us that I had hoped for wasn't there. I let fear, worry and uncertainty creep into my heart. It was only recently that I realized that I let that happen because my faith in Him was not strong enough. So, the most wonderful revelation of this journey is that my faith in Him was already there, but it has grown insurmountably. I now understand that God has a perfect plan for our family that includes the most perfect little girl. No, I haven't seen her face yet, but when the timing is right, she will be revealed to us.

I have been blessed with so many new friends that I have met during this year. They have been my solace, my educators, my supporters. I thank God every day for these wonderful souls.

As we eagerly anticipate "the call" that will change our family forever, I am thankful for the growth this year has allowed for me personally. When our sweet, baby girl is revealed to us, I'll be ready for her!

"Children are a heritage from the Lord.....happy is the man who has his quiver full of them." Psalm 127:3, 5

Soon to Be Six

Yesterday was a motivating day filled with fellowship and
camaraderie. It began at 8 AM with Bob and I participating in a 2-hour long Spin-A-Thon that Spiece Fitness hosted. We, along with many others, rode to raise money for the Vera Bradley Breast Cancer Foundation. Personally, Bob and I have friends that have in the past, or are currently battling this debilitating disease. They are so strong and are such an inspiration to others.

As we rode on this "journey", our team name represented our own journey to another land on another continent. We called ourselves "Soon to Be Six", and cylced with our end destination in mind. We pedaled like those bikes were actually taking us across an ocean!

Later that day, I traveled with Piper to Indianapolis to have some fellowship with other adoptive parents. We "learned" how to braid hair. Although I'm using the term "learned' pretty loosely, I did get some great tips and at least have some idea of where to start with hair care. Pastor Yosef also shared information about the different ethnic groups within Ethiopia, we had some wonderful bread and met some beautiful children.

I ended the day feeling encouraged, and blessed by the people brought into my life throughout the duration of this past year. We have a wonderful God who has changed my life so much and opened my eyes to a world I can never, and would never, want to close my eyes to.

Please hear me....

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is; not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will,
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen.

Our New Addition

No, I am not talking about the new addition of a family member, but rather the space that will someday be the place our girls will call their own. After many months of interrupted construction, it is finally done! It is beautiful. It amazes me that all of this space was just sitting up there under our roof. Lucky for me, I have an adventurous, creative husband who had a vision and the skills that could make it happen. I, of course, stood by the sidelines with a doubtful look on my face, trying to catch every bit of dust that floated through the air. Now that the dust has settled, and I've had a chance to put my own touch on this space, it makes me yearn for baby number four that much more. Still, it is comforting to sit upstairs, read a book, and feel a little closer to completing our family. All of the blood, sweat and tears were so worth it. (Okay, so skip the blood and tears part, but definitely the sweat!)